You Need Me

You are not wired for progress.  You seek a state of sameness, one where mental and physical stressors are nonexistent, and every day is just like the one before.  Routine is bliss for your underperforming ass.

It’s not your fault.  Evolution left you ready to do battle with nature, and civilization gave you a neutron bomb.  

You should be outside, spear in one hand and shield in the other, looking for something to kill.  Instead, you’ve got forty-five aisles of floor-to-ceiling shrink-wrapped grub, obtainable with nothing more than a plastic card and a smile.

I’m a grizzly bear charging at twenty miles an hour, the uncertainty of your next meal, and the reason you sleep with one eye open.

You should be sprinting away from predators, seeking safety, but you’ve got fences, freeways, and a fifteen-digit algorithmically protected front door.  You’ve got two guns, a can of mace, four layers of body armor, and nothing to worry about.  

Unfortunately, your DNA doesn’t know this.  Your hindbrain is programmed to save your resources for another day, conserving energy for an apocalyptic event that will never come.   “Eat more, move less,” it says, and you’re eager to comply.  The result is a forty-five inch waist and a mean case of diabetes.

You need a prod.  A thousand volt, fifty-milliamp foot to the backside, designed to override your nonsensical attachments to comfort.  You need me.

I am the stress that humanity has removed from your existence.  I’m a grizzly bear charging at twenty miles an hour, the uncertainty of your next meal, and the reason you sleep with one eye open.  I’m your coach.

I’m not yelling at you because I’m angry.  I’m yelling because you need to be shoved away from calm and toward performance, brought to a place where death is imminent and action is the only option, and it’s my job to bring you there.

When my volume goes up and my tone gets clipped, you move rapidly.  You execute.  You drive faster and further into physiological discomfort, and you stay there.  You leave six-way adjustable leather seats and lumbar support for the weak, and transport yourself to a place where ease is a distant memory.  

Your hindbrain wakes up, and those resources, heretofore held for Armageddon, know that it’s go time.  Fat melts, lungs sear, and muscles break down, all in service of getting away from me.

Day after day, you undergo this process, overcoming unreasonable obstacles until your recalcitrant brain is born again hard.  Embracing pain and shunning comfort, you’re ready to kill or be killed.  You’re rewired, no longer subject to the temptations of easy living and all-you-can eat buffets.  You’re an athlete.

The pull of a painless life is too great to get here alone.  You need me, the harbinger of change, the bullwhip, the irresistible rush of progress.  I am your ticket to growth, and I’m sending you to battle civilization’s paradox with nothing more than a pointy stick.  Ironically, you’ll win, and if that apocalypse ever comes, you’ll be ready. 

Maggie Dabe-Colby of CrossFit Fairfax pushes Jennifer toward greatness at the CrossFit Training Center.  Picture courtesy of The Napping Poet.

Comments

[Auc]

Awesome:)

[Petr Ruzicka]

Amen brother ! Very good essay.

[Gym Junkies]

Jon, just came across your blog. This is a GREAT post!

Seriously, you have a talent for writing and a passion for training.

Just subscribed to your blog, looking forward to your future posts...

-Justin

[Jeff Tincher]

Jon,
wow. great stuff buddy. inspiring,

[Jon Gilson]

Thanks, Jeff. You're a rock star.

Best,

Jon

[juan]

I want to go sell everything i own and go hunt something now.

[Maggie Dabe-Colby]

Jon, I'm speechless! What a great article. Keep posting them, you are such a great writer (and a trainer of course).

[Jon Gilson]

Maggie,

Thanks so much! I hope to see you one of these days. Any Certs coming up for you?

Best,

Jon

[Chris]

Jon,

Fantastic as always.

[Adam Kayce]

This so totally rocks. Great writing, and a great point.

Just the other day I was in a mood like this, and saw a scared, overweight, timid person backing their SUV out of a parking space, sucking on a McD milkshake, and thought to myself, "Fat, and helpless. We as a people have become fat and helpless. The world needs CrossFit."

Way to go, Jon.

[Gabe Sganga]

Jon

If you don't mind I'm gonna fwd that to some fellow Marines. Great freakin stuff.

Gabe

[Jon Gilson]

Gabe,

Feel free, brother. Thanks for the support!

Best,

Jon

[Rudy CrossFit Alexandria]

Jon, hands down the best thing I've ever read. Chills.

[Tara Crossfit Michiana]

Jon,
I have read and re-read your last three posts beginning with "You are Beautiful." All I can say is how empowering and incredible they are! You are a fantastically talented writer and I look forward to more. Thanks for the inspiration:)

Tara

[Thor]

Right on target as usual, and affirmed again this morning. Nice work.

[Rich Borgatti]

This is an awesome post Jon!
I look forward to some more yelling from you!
You have definitely helped push me out of fitness complacency.

Thank you for all your hard work and coaching.

[Jon Gilson]

Rich and Thor,

Glad to have you guys in the gym.

Best,

Jon

[Monica]

Ha ha...I'd say something more like a pit bull than grizzly bear. Love ya Jon. Keep up the great work.

[Brandon]

Great article, if this doesn't motivate somebody to get off their lazy (insert word here), then they are lost!!

[Joe DeGain]

Awesome job Jon!