Future Selves
Tuesday, June 23, 2009 at 11:06AM by Patrick Cummings
I was leaning against the windows of the Walgreens, waiting for the 66 bus to come and bring me to the gym. Evening rush hour was slowing everything down. A young guy was pacing the sidewalk nearby, asking every second or third person if they might donate money to save the children, or the whales, or the trees.
She was a quarter of the way across the street before I saw her. When she stepped off the curb, I’m sure she had the light. But now, as she pushed her walker, the light was changing and a stream of cars could do nothing but watch and wait. Part of me wanted to go over, pick up the old lady and carry her the rest of the way. Every step was progress, but barely.
I admired her persistence, sad that it took her five full minutes to cross the street. I thought it wasn’t as sad as if she couldn’t make it at all, and I thought about a conversation I’d had recently.
I was sitting beneath the judge’s tent at the Northeast Qualifiers, in a beach chair real low to the pavement. A hundred yards away, barbells and bumper plates crashed to the ground. I could hear the pull-up bars shake under the momentum of kips. Rafael lowered himself into the seat next to me.
I don’t remember how we got to talking about it, but eventually he mentioned his father. He said there was no way his father could get in and out of a chair like the ones we were in. He said, “I love my father, but I don’t want to end up like him.”
If he isn’t already, Rafael is close to turning forty, though you’d never guess it. He’s a fighter, a trainer, an athlete, and a constant stream of encouragement. You’re always just a little bit better when Raf is nearby, and as we sat there, the irony of what we were talking about didn’t escape me.
It was a weekend to celebrate athleticism, to marvel at the virility, viability and ferociousness of youth, and we were talking about what it was like to grow old. All around us wandered the chiseled bodies of young gods and goddesses, but Rafael and I were talking about nursing homes. We were talking about our fathers.
My father isn’t in bad shape. He’s in his fifties and stays active. My mother sees to it that he eats relatively well, and when he’s not battling some knee or shoulder problem, he gets to the gym a couple times a week. I’ve tried to introduce him to CrossFit, but he’s a man of routine. Twenty minutes on the stationary bike, some seated shoulder presses and leg extensions and he’s happy. Every now and again, he’ll call me and tell me he got on the Concept2 at the Y, just like I showed him.
So maybe I shouldn’t be worried, but I am. I’ve watched his mother start showing signs of Alzheimer’s. At dinner with her, I’ve watched him put on a smile as she tells us the same story she told us ten minutes prior, and I can’t help but wonder if that smile will be mine some day. I want him to stop eating pasta and bread, but I’m fighting against years of homemade Italian cooking and I don’t know how hard to push. I don’t know how to tell him it’s because I don’t want him to end up like her.
Rafael and I are sitting in beach chairs real low to the pavement and he says, “I love my father, but I don’t want to end up like him,” and I start to wonder if my old man could get in and out of the chair. I don’t know the answer.
It’s so easy to get lost in the vanity of now. In the mirror’s reflection. It’s so easy to focus on the Fran time and the max deadlift and the consecutive pull-ups. What’s harder to remember is that we aren’t doing this for today.
It’s nice to look good with your clothes off, but it’s nicer to know that for the rest of your life you’ll be able to take those clothes off without the assistance of a certified health care provider. That you’ll be able to get across the street without the assistance of a traffic cop.
While my father’s mother forgets, my mother’s parents are on their boat, floating down the Hudson River on a trip they’ve taken many times before. When summer comes, family barbeques are scheduled around their arrival. My grandfather is still one of the strongest people I’ve ever known, and my grandmother is still one the sharpest.
I can’t know all the reasons my grandparents have aged differently. There are too many variables. I can’t know if it was environment, their diet, lifestyle, or genetics, but I do know that blaming randomness is too easy. The choices we make in youth give color to our future selves.
What we’re doing, it isn’t about today.
Raphael teaches at CrossFit Boston. Picture courtesy of the author.
Reader Comments (22)
That is an awesome post, very well written. I'll be thinking about this blog for some time, hoping that I too will not end up the way my father has... Well done.
Well put, Patrick. I have watched my father's health deteriorate over many years from diabetes and heart disease. He has a pacemaker/defibrillator device in his chest now and has made multiple trips to the hospital already this year. He spent 40 years as an auto mechanic and while he was never overweight his diet consists mainly of mostly vegetables, grains, rice, and some lentils. We have tried to convince him to alter his diet, but to no avail. I, too, do not want to end up like my father but unfortunately it seems some of the problems could be genetic - my cholesterol readings come in on the high side. So I begrudgingly follow the recommended treatment (statins) and also I focus on what I can control - my own diet and exercise.
One of the cutest couples that come to the local gardener's market are in their 90s and both cancer survivors. Our favorite question is to ask them "how many miles this week?" The answer is always in the hundreds. They ride a bicycle for two around the valley and all over the West. Their minds are sharp and their attitude about life is great. Much better than sedentary people I know twenty and thirty years younger.
Amen brother !
I just hope, we are helping ourselfs by doing CrossFit as many of us (me included) started with health as ultimate benefit of CF and now we are more and more laser focused on numbers, weights and reps...
I started CFiting 3 years ago and I've seen some huge performance gains, I lifted more that I could ever imagine I would and added round and round to my Cindy score.
Now I feel sooo tired, worn out and sometimes it hurts, my knees are sometimes in pain, shoulder as well, my energy level is down. Even with focus on technique I *may be* pushed to much and even with great numbers (not firebreather but not average either) I don't feel heathly now :( And I wonder - was it healthy ? Did my 3 days on 1day off serves it's purpose ? it gave me elite fitness abut health ? Can we say that ? I'm 35 now and I also hope that I'll not be like my father today - after severel strokes, with very bad knees and back, with quite a big belly. But who am I to judge what is good and bad ? My performance is great but I feel my injuries now and even I was able to run, lift and jump like Robocop it certainly took it's toll.
I need to think about it all, now I practice big lifts only, focus is on technique and perfection. No metcons. Not now. May be later.
Patrick:
Super post. While CF has both young and old participants, it will be interesting to observe what happens as the young become the old over time. Those who started CF later in life began with scaled workouts. I wonder if current young fire breathers will be able to deal with scaling down workouts and diminishing results as they age, or will they just give up? Clarence Bass (cbass.com) an 0-lifter (but not a CFer) now in his 70's, seems to keep himself motivated with a periodization routine that (I think) somewhat masks diminishing strength as he ages. The CF numbers approach does not appear to allow for this. Art Devany (arthurdevany.com), also in his 70's, lifts heavy, but typically with machines, and argues that a lifting injury in later years is such a set back that it is not worth the risk. It will be interesting to observe.
Strong post, thanks Patrick. Paul
Great post Patrick. Not only good insight on what happens in senior years. But also good reasoning for the client who is on the edge about training and just doesn't get why they should. I'll be using this in the future when I run into those fence riders.
Good stuff. Well said. Being 45 and with parents who are in there 70's I know what it is like. Good stuff!
Patrick - Solid Article, reading it has sparked many thoughts for me. It made me think about my mom who at 70 clearly has submitted to a sedentary lifestyle that unfortunately has her moving and looking older than her age. Convincing her that she needs to walk more is a losing battle but one worth fighting. My father on the other hand is doing just fine. He came and watched me come up short at the NEQ. He watched Jacinto the warrior from CFSB who is the same age as him competing and honestly couldn't grasp what he was witnessing. But he is doing well in his own right, he shot a 76 last week on a Pinehurst golf course which is pretty incredible considering a few years ago his handicap was around 18. He also lost weight this year by eating a few less cookies than usual. Oh and he took his fathers day Amazon gift card that I gave him and bought an assortment of fruit and nuts so I think I have influenced him a little bit.
The article made me also recalibrate my mindset towards my training. In training for the NEQ I had been so laser focused that I fought my way through some nagging injuries. Coming up short at the NEQ made me want it that much more come next year and had me eager to get back to hard training. However as soon as the qualifier was over my body revolted and the injuries returned with a vengeance. The injuries were to much to ignore this time around and forced me to slow down to allow for proper healing. The recovery period has prevented me from training the way I want to and has got me really frustrated lately. But reading this article has reminded me that there is more than getting ready for next years competition, there is getting ready for a long healthy life. A HUGE benefit from Crossfit is that it gives you the tools to build your freedom of health well into old age. I had lost perspective of this lately and this article did a great job of expanding my focus beyond the present.
RAF is the man!
Great article, Patrick. My dad's 65 and I'm pretty sure he could still get out of that chair. It's his wife who has decided to wait to get better in her Lazy Boy who reminds me that there is always something you can do to improve.
I was thinking of the same topic the other day when a woman in a shopping center (middle aged and chubby) looked at my 1yo and, instead of saying "Aww, how cute", said "That's the life"! The statement just blew me away. Unable to talk, walk, feed, or bathe himself and in diapers... That's the life!!? Be careful what you wish for.
Interesting response, Petr R. It's often hard to keep the big picture in mind as you struggle for immediate results. At 35, I often have the same concerns. I no longer follow 3 on, 1 off. I rest more often. I skip the ibuprofen though and train to improve my weaknesses while going hard. There is a balance you can achieve if you're not always fixed on being an Rx'ed Elite Monster.
Great topic for thought. I'm 56 and crossfitting and becomming more flexible, stronger, quicker, and durable. This goes in-line with the Crossfit Journal article: Training Through Acute Injuries, Part 2 , By Kelly Starrett. You heal faster with training But not over the top where you are exhausted all the time ... getting enough nutrition, getting enough sleep, staying stretched ... all necessary facets in the goal ... long term health and fitness.
Patrick, I had the same concerns about my parents.....so now they come over twice a week to back squat, deadlift and press. They work on their pull ups/body rows and push ups too. They have even started eating better (that was a battle for my mom). They schedule events around training and never miss a session ! I actually think there should be more of a focus on the baby boomer generation ....they would save a lot of money in Long term care premiums !
Excellent post -- thank you!
My dad died frail and too early. My mom, however, is active and still kicking in her 83rd year. I'm definitely doing what I do for the future me. I keep warning my sons (16, 14, 8) when they roll their eyes at my CrossFit speeches, that I'll be lifting them over my head and tossing them in the pool on my 70th birthday.
Thanks again for the post.
My 2 cents do some kind of workout be it crossfit or globogym style.Eat clean,plenty of water and stay away from soft drinks.
Gentics help a whole lot.
Iam 2 days away from my 70th birthday and my best Fran time as rx is 7:50.I try to do most of the wods as rx except those that are heavy.My joints do not hurt,except the next day after I do a wod that have pullups ,It's the kipping that get my shoulders
I loved the post Patrict.
Maybe in some way this post would would clear some of your ageing worries.
Excellent article! My father died too young... a victim of his second heart attack at age 54 courtesy of a terrible diet, lack of exercise and smoking. Now with family history of heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, and a tendency to be overweight, I realize more importantly how much control I can have over my health. Granted the genetics are there, but I can do my part to keep all those changeable variables in check. Thanks for the article!
Hey Patrick,
Great Post!
I believe your observations are what separates CF from other endeavors... I believe many people in CF, running boxes and coaching, are thinking about the long term benefits of each WOD. It IS fraking cool to bust an incredible WOD time... and know that you're not going to need help getting off the crapper when you're 30 yrs older.
I started Crossfit 3 months ago - at the age of 56. I was running 30 miles a week, but had (and have) no meaningful upper-body strength. Under the exceedingly patient, professional and skilled coaching of Brian Yoak of Crossfit Legacy in Ohio, my strength gains have shocked me. I will be doing scaled workouts on WODs involving cleans and dips for a long time, and it may take me until Christmas to get the elusive single dead-hang pull up, but I will get it. We did Murph on Saturday and everything between my waist and my knees hurt like hell on Sunday. On Monday, I saw that everyone else who had gone to the WOD with me on Saturday felt exactly the same - even if they were 35 years younger. i don't think I hurt any more or any less because of my "advanced" age.
I cannot tell you how much I wish I had found CF when I was 25 or 30 - it would have made a substantial difference in my life. But finding CF at 56 is changing my life, too. I will probably never have a 400 pound deadlift or press my bodyweight. But I will be more fit and more happy than I ever thought possible.
I'm not competing against anyone else in my class when I do the WODs. I'm competing against a clock that has been running for 56 years. I cherish being sore almost as much as I cherish seeing muscles growing before my very eyes. I love having a resting heart rate of 45.
THIS... is... EXACTLY why I love Crossfit.
Thank you for gracing us with your eloquence, Patrick.
Great article, I have been thinking about this subject for quite some time. Thoughts on this matter are not strictly precluded to my parents though, I look at my girlfriend and siblings in vain, trying to inform them of the elation that comes with waging a war against the barbell. They listened to me at one time, but now the second I open my mouth about CF or anything pertaining to health I watch their eyes glaze over and their heads rhythmical nod along with the flow and exclamations of my sentences.
It is infuriating and, despite all the gains I have made through CF, makes me feel like an invalid. Shunned by those around me for pushing the limit and laughed at for trying to hold myself to a higher standard, it is good to know that I am not alone and my thoughts are not just my own, but the thoughts of a rising nation.
This really hit home with me as well as many of the comments. My father died at 61, 100 pounds overweight. His idea of exercise was driving across the street. I'm now 60 and less than a year away from his age when he died. I loved my father, but do not want to end up like him, to quote your article. I have been running for over 25 years but had very little upper body strength. Both my wife and I have been doing Crossfit for 4 months and making progress neither of us thought possible. Our patient and talented trainer, Jared Ray, from Crossfit Mansfield, Texas has led us from impossible to probable. We can still get into those low beach chairs and hope to be able to for many, many years. Thanks for a great story.