Dedication
Jon Gilson
15 Comments
You think you know pain, but you have no idea. The heart thumping, chest expanding, lactic acid burn of your last workout was a walk through the meadow.
Somewhere, there’s a guy who did it in half the time it took you. He suffered. Plasma forced its way into his lungs, causing him to hack on repeat. He choked down bile halfway through, and ended on his back, pupils dilated to the size of dimes.
While you were walking around, telling your friends how hardcore your workout was, Guy Number Two was still collapsed, the prospect of driving home as daunting as climbing K2 during a snowstorm.
When he finally stood up, he didn’t say a word.
CrossFit is a decidedly masochistic pursuit. To be any good at it, you have to enjoy the pain. You have to push back the threshold day after day, until last year’s traumas feel like an hour-long rubdown at the Canyon Ranch. One day, you find a threshold that takes the whole thing just a little too far, and you get scared to go back.
The men and women that decimate your times are not superhuman. They’re not particularly genetically gifted. Hell, most of the top CrossFitters in the world would get absolutely pummeled in your standard game of rugby, buried by larger athletes begat by larger parents.
What differentiates these individuals is not a gift, but an unreasonable desire to push self-imposed suck beyond its logical limits. What comes out the other side becomes legendary.
Like any human pursuit, we seek ways around the hard part. Limited range of motion and new techniques. Dropping the deadlift from the top, bouncing it off the floor. Squatting above parallel and not standing up all the way. Chicken-necking above the chin-up bar, and reviewing the tape to see if we made it.
We want the reward (speed) without the sacrifice (pain).
This is not conscious cowardice. It’s pure out-and-out rationalism. At some point, the next threshold is the one that takes it too far, leaving us in an exercise-induced hallucination that lasts a few moments too long. Our hearts bounce around our insides for one beat too many, and our lungs beg to explode for an unwanted extra second. Every exhalation coincides with a constriction of vision, and the cold taste of copper.
No sane human being would enjoy such a feeling.
Still, the glory beckons. Surely, with enough training and the right supplements, there’s a way around the Hard Part. Enough sleep and enough vitamin B will get you the sub-whatever time without the attendant pain. There’s no need to redline your heart rate or pop capillaries. No need to ache so badly at night that you can’t sleep. Surely, there are ways around this.
Fortunately, the steroids are a no-go, and the exercises are done correctly or not at all. The only way to legend is through ever-mounting piles of pain. The meadow has to tilt at 45-degrees, and he rubdown at the Ranch must be done with Brillo Pads. If you can talk, you’re not trying hard enough. If your nerves aren’t frayed and ready to rebel, you’ll never get there.
Do yourself a favor, and realize that there’s no technique in the world that will save you. There are no pills, no secrets, no passwords on the path to greatness. You’ve got to embrace the pain, push the threshold, and feel the suck, and then you’ve got to muster the courage to go back six times a week.
After all, the world is a lot brighter when your pupils are the size of dimes, and massaging your sternum with your heart starts to feel good after a while. The plasma finds its way out of your lungs, and eventually you’ll be able to drive.
Sometimes, lying on the floor is its own reward.
Dave Castro takes his kettlebell for a walk. Picture courtesy of CrossFit.com.
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Reader Comments (15)
As usual.... you speak the truth in an inspiring yet brutally true manner.
Thanks again Bro!
Miss you and Sammy....
I was quite inspired by your article. I am about to hit my one year Crossfit anniversary and that was just the inspirational piece of literature to keep me going through year two!
John has this posted on his website (Cf Greyskull) for us to read this past weekend - Loved it. Almost as much as the beautiful girls piece.
Great article! Thank you.
This is why I check these articles regularly - truth laid bare.
This one hit particularly close to home. I've been immersed in CrossFit for almost two years now ( I do it, coach my kids in it, study it and instruct it for work, coach any and all comers with a desire - more and more thanks to the new USMC fitness test). And then, one day about a month ago, I just stopped. Splat.
To quote the article, which finally gave a voice to a lot of confusion in my head, I finally hit a threshold that took it just a little to far ( in my case - my first Murph with a 20# vest - 47:50, at the tail end of a very hard week including a record CFT).
I can make excuses all day - I was fatigued, I needed to recover, I should have used a lighter vest or none at all (BW 143), I'm busy in the summer, but what really bothered me was that deep inside I knew it was all bull. I was simply scared and didn't want to hurt myself anymore.
I'm not all the way back yet, but I'm clawing my way back. This post began the journey for me.
Thanks, Jon
Josh,
Good to see your name and read your words, Brother. Get back on the horse.
I struggle with the intensity myself from time to time, and nothing cures it like a little rest, a side trip to the platform, and a visit with the guys from HQ. Barring that, watch "Nasty Girls" and re-read "What is Fitness" (CFJ 2). It always gets me in the right frame of mind.
Best,
Jon
Jon,
An absolutely fantastic article. I definitely need to visit this site more often.
This should be put up in every CrossFit gym.
Great article! I've attached the feed to our website at www.hardassfitness.com. I will be sure to read it again before each workout. Thanks
This article is definitely going up in my gym. Excellent article.
Jon,
First off, just visited your site for the first time thanks to the "Box Jump" link. Thanks for taking the time to create the videos and post articles. What a great tool for furthering the CrossFit fire within.
As for this post in particular...well said! This article epitomizes every aspect of what it is to be a CrossFitter. When people see me @ the gym doing a WOD and ask me to explain it, I tell them it is the most excruciating and yet addicting means of testing your intestinal fortitude, will, drive, character and heart (both literally and figuratively) you will ever experience. They never understand at first and watch mesmerized as I push through every exercise and rep, grimacing and grinding my teeth, sweat pouring, curse words flying, blisters bleeding and all the other "fun stuff" that occurs when you are knocking out a WOD. Once I have completed it, they usually walk over to where I have collapsed on the floor and ask, "Why do you do that to yourself? It looks horrible." A huge grin comes across my face and all I can say (after I catch my breath of course) is, "Because we are a sick and twisted bunch that thrives on pushing ourselves above and beyond "normal"limits every workout." Then I usually pry myself off the floor and tell them, "And I can't wait to do it all over again tomorrow". Everything you said here is brutal & in your face (luv it BTW) and initiated a gut check in me. So you bet your ass during today's WOD this will be in my mind as I "embrace the pain, push the threshold, and feel the suck" just so that I can run just a little faster, thrust harder, and kip like crazy. Look forward to the your future posts/videos. Keep it coming and Happy Cross Fitting!
I love this, but what's with "plasma forced its way into his lungs"? It sounds terrible.
Jon,
this is a one great article of many. Unless it absolutely sucks it isnt giving you results that you deserve you speak the truth about everything that is on this site and this reminds me of a quote that I thought up during Barbell hell with Johnny (CF Greyskull) "you need combination of 3 things in order to achieve greatness. hard work, suffering and most important the drive to give everything you've got until the end" thank you for this article. it was great to read.
I don't know if I will ever get tired of reading this article. Thank you.
I posted this article on my website as well Jon. Top notch writing that hits home, as usual when it comes to stuff you write. An amazing inspirational that should be in every gym across the globe. Every time I am in a little bit of a slump, I think of this article, and the picture of the guy doing sprints at the bottom of a pool with a KB. Great work Jon, and great motivation. The truth always is.